TRANSCEND

While in a body, physical connection has far less importance than people believe it does, because anyone can touch someone else either by accident or help or desire or violence or rape. How important can the physical be then, if anyone can do anything to anyone else provided there's a chance and will to do so, with any motive behind it?

To feel a person's body, her weight, her warmth, her breath, that means the soul is there giving life to that body, but someday she eventually leaves the body and then it dies, there's no more weight, or warmth, or breath anymore. That person is gone to some other place.

How close can two souls get?
Is it even possible for two individuals to become one?
Can the hope of meeting after death become true?

To live in the same state of mind. Accept without distinction or worry. Sharing food, desire, and life. Affection without shame. Ardent embrace. To unite with someone, and be together, more than these physical bodies allow. Transcending the bond of humanly possible.

Too much to bear!

I can't rest or sleep well, it hurts to the points of agony from time to time, my head doesn't work and i can't focus, being alone at home having no social life of any kind again makes this torture similar to pain in my teeth that drives me mad, i want to kill myself but i feel so weak and depressed i barely move, i'm tired of being alive, i hate being alone, to me life is a punishment i am forced to go through against my will, and because the woman who represented my dream disappeared without a word i am completely lost in this darkness and cold. IT HURTS!!!!!!!
People kill themselves for much less than being alone at home 23hours a day, and how can stupid worthless me survive that long in hell, makes no sense, being alive makes no sense, reality makes no sense. I'm numb.
Often i think about hanging myself, or inhaling carbon monoxide to put me asleep forever, but i'm too weak, i've been there before, and, it's cruel! I have to force myself to breath as well, can't even cry right anymore, and it's Christmas, whatever that means, it hurts so much i can't sleep or even eat, IT HURTS being so miserable, she's gone don't even know if she's alive, my will to live is gone, my body heat is gone, my sanity is gone, i'm going to die without even knowing what having a woman just for me feels like, and i can't feel anything else but the pressure to kill myself, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, hopelesssss

"I Want To Be Alone"

Jackson C. Frank - ''I Want To Be Alone (Dialogue)'' [Electroma]

I, want to be alone
I need to touch each stone
face the grave that I have grown,
I want to be alone.

Before all the days are gone
and darker walls are bent and torn,
to pass the time of those who won
I want to be alone.

Rivers that run anywhere
are in my hand and just up the stairs
past the eyes of those who care
who can never be alone.

Changes where not ment to be 
told the hours of my memory.
Sing a song of the love to me
to say you must never never be alone

But tears of a silent rain
seek shelter on my broken pane
and run away but I remain
to speak the words 
that sing alone. 

I, want to be alone
I need to touch each stone
face the grave that I have grown,
I want to be alone.

Final scene from the movie "Electroma'' (2006) directed by Daft Punk. 
Distributed by Daft Arts / Wild Bunch.

Music: Jackson C. Frank - "I Want To Be Alone (Dialogue)" from the album ''Jackson C. Frank'' released by Columbia in 1965

_____________________________________________________________________________________

better to die alone, than live a lie