People who pretend to be suffering from something i suffer from, when all they want is attention, make me feel angry, but i don't tell them anything anymore. And yes, i am able to sense fakery, if i had experienced the real deal. Don't try to pretend you're an expert on suffering, spoiled child! You, with nice skin, new clothes, clean homes, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, supporting family, job, car, money, happiness, good health, social life, hobbies, new gadgets, plentiful foods and drinks, house appliances, pets, big houses, parties, pleasures, and childish smiles, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SUFFERING?!
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When i was little i had a cat at home, his name was Tommy, for some reason! He would jump the back wall to the neighbour's house, and when he came back, he'd hide under the kitchen table. Once he had fleas. What happened to him?
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I absolutely ADORE travelling, but i don't have the money or company to satisfy that passion of mine. Great, now i feel miserable again...
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When in doubt, don't do it!
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Look at the horizon sideways. Look up until you see only the night sky around you.
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It's past lunch time, and i haven't eaten anything yet, again. I'm going to prepare something to eat, or my body will start complaining again, damn human body, trap for me(soul)! And people actually enjoy being here? Un-freaking-believable!!!
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The oldest, or youngest(?), memory i have is from when i was around 6 years old, or young(?). I was here in the street, at a friend's house with him, his grandfather and another friend or two. His grandfather said something like the first one to the church wins an icecream, later we ran up the street to the church, up the steps like a race, and to the top.
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Don't watch television!
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People ruin everything.
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I just sat here, staring into oblivion. My brain is hurting again, i want it removed! *DISTRESS* I still can't believe i never had even one person, who wanted to be with me! NOT! EVEN! ONE! "True Love" my ass, what was i thinking?!! *ANGUISH*
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The best place to be, is wherever other people are not. That said, having land and house of your own is the best, having a free to leave prison cell in a building in some city is the worst. Don't even want to go deeper into this, i've done this before!
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It's not like if i could, i wouldn't live a so called "normal life".
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I see dead people! They're everywhere. (allegory)
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These things aren't writen in order, it's always a work in progress, edit kind of thing.
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I don't have a person to talk to, so i have to talk to myself, or sometimes write here. and delete the worst of the worst.
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When i let my beard grow for a week or more, i end up not liking how i look, but i'm trying it now, just because i never went this far before.
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Many years ago, i enjoyed reading magazines and books, but eventually i stopped buying them. It's not like i'm not interested in them aymore, but reading, with the amounts of stress that flow through my body when i'm in this house, around these people, alone, i just want headphones, music, and internet.
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I've always been alone, i'm alone now, and i'm going to die alone, not because i want to, but i don't deserve any better.
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Once i was walking home, steps away from the front door, when something hits my head! I look around, and there's a sparrow on the ground, then it flies away.
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Practically everything i drink now is water. Maybe milk sometimes, rarely lemon+honey, tea or coffee.
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I know WHAT the purpose of Life is,(that's how most call it so that's how i wrote it), so i can sense immediately everything else that is not it, but i don't know HOW to fulfill it. I discovered it after i went through an Apocalypse, in the true meaning of the word.
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Spinning ballerina, change directions with your brain.
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I can't function as a human being anymore...
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